11.19.2013

it's like dejavu all over again

Blogging from a hospital room once again. Last time it was September. They had just turned one and it was Ryan's shunt that malfunctioned. This time it's Aiden. Only his shunt seems to be fine. 

The boys were sick last week and as is expected they were whiny and clingy. We took them to the pedi because the preemie mom and dad in us wanted their lungs checked. Fast forward a couple days later and they seemed on the tail end of their cold. Good news. And the confirmation from their doctor that their lungs and ears were fine sealed the deal for us. Only Aiden was still acting off. Super clingy, whiny and tired. Which isn't at all like him. So to the ER we went. 

At first we called his neurosurgeon to try to be seen at his office, but when we couldn't get an appointment until a week from now we decided to head to the hospital.  Ill say it again. You don't want to be that parent who goes to the ER for nothing. But you also don't want to be the one who should've gone and didn't. 

Aiden is sleeping now. He had an MRI earlier today to check his shunt and it seems to be working ok. We're here overnight though, as a precaution, for fluids and for a repeat MRI in the morning. Also, something about ophthalmology coming to check his eyes. For what I'm not sure. Sometimes you just nod and the words fly right by you. 

I rocked him to sleep tonight. I never rock him to sleep. He doesn't need me like that. He never really did. It was a sweet moment. 

I'm about to get all parent cliche-y on you so prepare yourself. 

Life is weird. You fall in love. And for a while it's all about you and him. Then you grow up and decide it's time for kids. You get pregnant and dream of your future family. And though you know complications happen, you never think it will happen to you. And sometimes it does.

Our boys lead complicated lives. Filled with therapy and hospitals and doctors and evaluations and diagnoses and the list goes on. At this point hospitals are like home for us. They're no longer foreign or sterile. Here we feel at home. 

I didn't choose this life. We rarely get to. But I sure as hell wouldn't trade it. These boys, these strong boys, came into my life like an avalanche knocking me off my feet and I haven't stood up since. But I seriously can't imagine it any other way. 

I'm ok with this. I'm ok with being knocked around. I don't our lives to be crazy.  But I embrace the craziness when it's here.  There isn't any other choice. 

Hopefully we'll go home tomorrow with a clean bill of health. As long as the MRI says we're good we'll be on our way. In the meantime it's like a hotel up in here. We have a private room with a private bathroom. Two tvs. A pull out couch. We're good. We're good. And here's a sweet pic of Mr. Aiden feeling a bit better after some fluids. 




1 comment:

  1. Praying for your little guy! On a side note, my 15 month old son has a vp shunt due to prematurity. He was followed by an ophthalmologist to monitor fr any eye issues and the doctor told me that sometimes I'd they suspect a shunt malfunction the neuro team may call on him to look at the optic nerve as swelling in the brain will cause the optic nerve to swell as well. (I noticed your comment about the eye dr)
    Sending healing energy your way from Gerry NY :)

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