a recent happening and what's ahead

My heart is full.

This morning Ryan called me a beauty.  Sure, he mimicked his father but still, it warmed my heart.  And Aiden, well he told me he loved me when I was leaving for work.  What more can I ask for?

This past Monday was my due date with the boys.  If it weren't for the TimeHop app, I wouldn't even have remembered.  This is a big deal for me.  HUGE.  Last year, and especially two years ago, this day was a milestone that I worked myself up to, and then inevitably broke my heart into a million pieces when the day came.  It was a reminder of what wasn't, what could've been and what IS.  And quite frankly it was a bit much for me to handle and think about.  It brought with it feelings of sadness, anger, envy and confusion.  And it really clouded my view of the miracles the were in front of me.

This year was different.  I was reminded of what day it was.  I made a quick mention.  And then that was it.  Maybe I'm too busy with twin toddlers to sit and contemplate the past anymore.  Maybe time did heal some of those wounds.  Maybe I've accepted the life I was given.  Or maybe I just feel extremely lucky to be where we are today.  Who knows.  Who cares.  

Let's just focus on what's going on now, right?  So we have some great news, though a bit premature.  Mr. Aiden recently had a hearing test done and his right ear came back with completely normal hearing.  His left ear was still presenting some hearing loss, but he had some fluid in there, which could be why (wishful, hopeful thinking?).  We go back for another hearing test in a couple weeks, in hopes that the fluid has cleared and we can get a better reading.  Please send any and all good vibes his way!

Ryan has really been working hard in his stander.  He's gone from lasting only a couple minutes to almost an hour now!  It does vary though, based on his mood and whether or not he's tired.  But he usually completes his time like a champ (and of course we let him play with the iPad while he's standing, just to keep him a little distracted) and even asks to be put in it from time to time.  The walker is very secondary at this point.  He won't really be able to walk successfully in it until he builds up his legs with standing.  And next week Ryan will be fitted for AFO's.  They will likely look something like this, and they are meant to keep his foot and ankle in the right position required for standing and walking.  Exciting!

We are still recovering from the holidays.  Decorations are still waiting to be taken down.  Toys are all over the place and some old ones need to be retired.  The kids go back to school today and we are slowly getting back into the swing of normal life.  I think we have an exciting and busy year ahead of us. 

And because I didn't post any Christmas photos, here are some of my favorites:

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