tears & thoughts

I cried today.

I generally consider myself a very sensitive person.  Emotional even.  But with age and experience, I've become a little harder to break.  I used to cry all the damn time.  Out of anger, fear, even embarrasment.  Sadness, of course, but the others much more often.  

These days it takes a little more to make me cry.   

Today, it was this:

Facebook is celebrating its 10 year anniversary today.  And in honor of that you get a sappy little video of your first posts, most liked activity, etc.  I watched the 1:05 clip with little anticipation of what was to come.  I honestly didn't think it would be anything spectacular.

Then, at the 27 second mark, I was hit with the above status.  My most liked FB status ever.  And I almost fell over in my chair.  I cried the happiest tears I've cried in a while.  Then, as if my life was perfectly directed, this song came on Spotify.  And if you read that post you know that this could only mean one thing: hysterics.  And on top of that, Bruno Mars came on next with "It Will Rain".  Which just so happened to be a very popular song back when the boys were in the hospital.  And if you listen to the lyrics your heart might just break.  

I shit you not, folks.  This really happened.

Sometimes life throws these things at you in order to remind of where you came from, and where you're going.  I've been feeling a little, what's the word...on edge today.  When you lock your keys in your car, and your printer at work craps out, and your coffee cup begins leaking - it's easy to feel like you're having the crappiest day ever.  

But then good ole' Mark Z steps in and smacks you in the face.  And makes you remember that every day you are witnessing a miracle.  

Today I remember that there was a time in our lives when we weren't sure if we'd ever see our children walk or talk.  Heck, we didn't know if they'd ever even come home with us.  And today, almost 2.5 years later, we are surrounded by their toddler antics.  Life is so crazy and loud sometimes that I can't even organize my thoughts long enough to speak clearly.  Yes, I mumble.  Ask my husband.  My point is, that we live our lives.  We're so "busy" multitasking.  Scheduling events and family visits.  Giving baths and feeding us and them.  Trying to keep the cat out of our morning tea while simultaneously wiping a runny nose.  We do all these "things" and we forget what we "are". 

Most importantly, I forget what my kids are.  They came into this world 3.5 months early.  And every single day they show us that no, they didn't come too soon.  I think they came exactly when they were supposed to.  Maybe it wasn't the most ideal beginning.  But it is their beginning.  And I am lucky to witness the miracles that they are.  

One of my goals for this year is to BE.  Be more present.  Live simply.  Get rid of "stuff".  Love my kids, my husband, my family, my friends.

So thanks Mark.  For reminding me what's important.  

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2/05/2014

    My video got to me as well... for the very same reasons. It started with her birth pic and the weight I met her (one pound nine ounces) and cut to her at 18 months. Then the walking status. Who can hold it together after seeing something like that?


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